Hello?

I've been thinking of switching to tumblr. Seriously thinking about it.
Is anyone even here anymore?

My life.

My life is kind of one long ass awkward moment.

The World.

Right now, the world is a bar at 3:30 in the morning. It's not a biker bar, or a sleazy sketchy bar. Its more of a bar that would be on the Jersey Shore.

So, America rolls into the bar, all smug, wearing an Ed Hardy shirt, and looking like one of those middle aged guys who has too much money, and is trying to be 21 again. England is in the corner, drooling over France. France is in the back, giving mixed singles to England, while gossiping about America. Germany is at the bar, just drinking in silence. Africa is the crazy ass guy on the dance floor, who looks schizophrenic because he is arguing with himself, but no one goes and tries to get them help, because he is a little sketchy.  Australia is at the bar drinking beer. Russia is sitting next to Germany looking skeptical. China is still at work. Columbia is snorting cocaine off of Brazil's ass. Mexico is smoking a fat bowl. Spain is minding her own damn business. India is  trying to get people to relax. The Irish are looking for a ride home.

Then someone tells America Iraq is pissed at them. America over reacts, and starts gathering his friends. France tells him she just lit her cigarette, so she can't help us. He tries to get Germany to help, since Germany hasn't been in a fight in about 50 years, but he sits there and yells "I've change mother fucker!". England decides to back us, and Australia pops up out of no where, like that one crazy cousin everybody has, and agrees with everything we do. We go out to the parking lot, and punch Iraq in the face, and knock him out. Everyone is suddenly pissed at America, when they find out that Iraq wasn't pissed to begin with. Then North Korea is waiting for South Kora at her car. Iran starts taking swings at America.

Chaos breaks out. Someone says Norway is fucking Finland in the bathroom, but no one really knows/cares. Africa's liver starts fighting itself. Russia and Japan are trying to stay out of the fight. Columbia freaks out, and runs to flush his stash. Brazil falls off the table, with a smear of cocaine still on her ass. Greece starts crying in the corner. Spain has disappeared.

And the night ends badly.

Apparently the internet thinks I am really smart.

Apparently the internet thinks I am really smart.

Do you know the little boxes that are on practically every website, that say "people you might know",  "suggested blogs", or anything of that sort? Well, on every website I am on, they give me links to people all over the world. (None to people I really do know, or (most of the time) blogs I am interested in, of course.) If you believe these little boxes, I know the entirety of Norway, half of Poland, and an interesting mix of other Europeans.

How does this relate to my intelligence level? Well, to know all these people, or read all of these blogs, I would need to know at least 12 languages.

I can honestly tell you that the programmers of these boxes are clueless. I only know English (and a few words in German and Spanish), and certain day I wonder if I even know English very well at all.

I only wish I knew that many people from around the world, but I only know a few people out of my state, none of which are outside of the United States' boarders.

I do wish I could read more languages. Some blogs seem like something I would love to read, but I can't. (Side note: Google Translator doesn't work very well unless the person is using text book language.) (Text book language is the prim and proper way of saying things, (The correct way.) but no one who speaks it fluently speaks that way.) (Why do classes teach us text book language if no one talks that way?)

The Phantom of the Opera.

I was beyond excited last night.
I had the movie, The Phantom of the Opera.
One of my absolute favorite books is a spin off of the play, all about the phantom and his life.
It is a magnificent book.
So, I excepted the movie to be at least decent.
It wasn't.

The actors/actress were wonderful.
The music was beautiful.
The setting, (while at times not even close to what I pictured) was sensational.
But I wasn't happy with the movie.

It was lacking the depth.
It wasn't even close to a fourth of the depth of anything else I have read about this script.

So all the surface beauty of the movie, was diminish.

I am beyond disappointed with it.
So I am pissed.

Last Weekend.

I don't think I have put it out for the world to know what I did last weekend. 

I went to the zoo, and Hooters, for my best friend's 17th birthday.

The zoo was fun, minus the asshole who kept mocking the lions with a kitten noise on his phone, and then when my friend told him to stop, he implied some not very nice things about our whole group. My friend's mom suddenly became very scary. :)

Mostly, we had fun though. 

We saw this demon bird that mangle a mouse, then give it to Lady Demon Bird.

I found out anteaters are big.... really big.

Then we went to Hooters. If you don't know, Hooters is a restaurant, that dress its waitress in booty shorts, and tight, low cut shirts. The decor is basically sports, and pictures of half naked women. Admittedly, I was a bit uncomfortable there at first, since it was about 15 creepy old men. But the old men left us alone. (Probably because they were not only shocked at our gender, age, and our presence there, but at our quantity, and the ecstatic noise we made.) Surprisingly, the food was AMAZING. It was one of the best meals I have ever had. Also, I tried deep fried pickles for the first time. DELICIOUS.

It was a day of lovely adventures.

I hate tampon commercials.

I hate tampon commercials.

I do not know anyone who will take a frolic in an innocent little field of flowers in a dress on a daily basses. Nor do I know anyone who runs around jumping out of planes, and doing an obscene amount of high kicks.

Also, women do not particularity twirl in circles a lot.

As for those birth control commercials..... who the hell becomes the magnificently happy while on the pill?

Every time I see one of these commercials I get confused. Who in the hell are these commercials based off of? Why aren't these women getting the psychiatric help they need?