Random babble of twaddle

I have a lot of theories. My problem is, I remember them at very odd times, and that when I start talking about one, I forget the others. I kind of sucks. So... here is at least one of my thoughts/theories.

When you like something, you attract anything related to it. Like people that like the same things are drawn together subconsciously. You can like something -- even if it is a complete secrete -- and you will some how meet someone that for some reason you wouldn't have normally met, yet suddenly you do. Does that make sense?

The second part of this (frivolous? senseless? idiosyncratic?) thought, is a bit mixed. You not only become hypersensitive to that certain subject -- when ever it is mentioned, you zone in on it -- it is attacked to you, so it comes up more often then not -- even if they people around you don't know you like it.

Or at least all of those things happened to me when my lovely.... fascination came along last year.




I think I just forgot all my other theories.
Damn it.






So... my mother thinks I am a lesbian. The problem is, I am not. I am straight. She does not understand that I am just overly affectionate. The majority of my friends are very affectionate. But somehow, I am now apparently lesbian because of it. I tell my friends I love them all the time. They tell me they love me all the time. We joke around -- "oooow baby! I would tap that!" I guess that the fact that I am completely for gay rights,  I love The Big Gay Sketch show on Logo, and I have gay friends doesn't help my case. So that makes me a flamboyant lesbian to my mother.(Guilty by association?) She has subliminally hinted at it, but a few days she asked me "do you like girls... that way?" after she took it upon herself to go though my backpack, and take out my yearbook, and read it. (Not that I am hiding anything. I'm not. It just bugs me when people go though my things with out me knowing at all.) And when I said no, she just gave me a look like, "suuurrrre you don't" and kept reading. Meanwhile, my father was at the other end of the couch laughing his ass off laughing. (Welcome to my world.)

I guess it doesn't bother me that she thinks that, just that she couldn't take 3 seconds out of her day to ask. (Way to assume) and after MONTHS of her thinking this she asks, and then doesn't believe my answer. I mean what the hell!!!! For those of you who don't know, having a gay child wouldn't be new territory for my mom. My brother Danny is gay. (And it is quiet likely I love his boyfriend more then him..... hahahahah... jk! I love ya Danny!) And I do not hide anything I am. You can ask me pretty much anything, and I will answer you. If by some weird chance I don't want to talk about it, I will tell you. But your sexuality is something you don't hide. I think my mother has issues. I'm thinking she wants me to be gay, for reasons unknown to me.

Don't teenagers usually have the opposite of this problem?





So, resurfacing from the depths of my sad little life, I realized I was wayyyy to excited about The Girl subscribing to me. (Hi!) I feel I should explain myself. But I won't.

I never intend for someone to read this. I just meant to babble on about the thoughts that float though my head, but I am not eloquent enough, or I just don't get a chance to say in every day conversation. But I guess (know) she does (did?) so I got all excited. I think I am doing a good job of still babbling. I am rather good at babbling.

Wait... did I just explain myself?





I really really need more entertainment in this god forsaken town.




Here is a random fact. Cinema Bizarre is my favorite-ist band ever! Living in small town hell doesn't really give me many chances to meet anyone who does like (some of) the things I do. But I looovveee them! I have a little crush on Shin... hahahahaha....