This Year's Reading

So, the statics for the average amount of books consumed by men and women in the US are easily described as pitiful. I have read more books then the average man and woman combined. Don't get me wrong, I don't always read long, intemidatingly sized books. In fact, my taste in books is sporadic at best. I indulge in the "young adult" section. I dabble in "classics". I adore "horror". I find "mystery" intoxicating. I have been known to occasionally dip below my reading level, into something simple. I find that to truly appreciate literature, you can not contain your self to one genre, one reading level, or one store. You must sample every flavor to be offered, and every cafe that serves. You will find some you love, and others you find deplorable. But how can you recognize one, with out knowing the other?

One thing has been annoying me lately though. Every time I go to buy myself a new book it seems the authors must throw in romance. I will get excited reading the back of a book, thinking "fuck ya! this seems epic!" in till reach the spot in the summary where they have some corny line about some romance. I don't mind romance, but it is not necessary in every book. 

Anyways, here are the books I have read this year, (so far) in chronological order:

1.   The Other Boylen Girl by Philippa Gregory
2. Lush by Natasha Friend
3. In the Forests of the Night by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
4. Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice
5. Blue Lipstick concrete poems by John Grandits
6. The Kinfe of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness
7. This Full House by Virginia Euwer Wolff
8. Paranoid Park by Blake Nelson
9. Beauty by Robin Mckinley
10. The Road from Home David Kherdian
11. Bounce by Natasha Friend
12. Loser by Matthue Roth
13. Vibes by Amy Kathhleen Ryan
14. The forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
15. Bound by Donna Jo Napoli
16. Dead Girls Don't Write Letters by Gail Gilrs
17. What I saw and How I lied by Judy Bluden
18. Vandal by Michael Simmons
19. Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey
20. I wanna by your Joey Ramone by Stephanie Kuehnert
21. Hard Love by Ellen Wittlinger
22. Beastly by Alex Flinn
23. Daughter of Venice by Danna Jo Napoli
24. I.D. by Viki Grant
25. Quaking by Kathyrn Erskine
26. If I Grow Up by Todd Strasser
27. Night by Elie Wiesel
28. The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice
29. Phantom by Susan Kay
30. Grimm's Grimmest by The Grimm Brothers
31. Everything Sucks by Hannah Friedman
32. Med Head by James Patterson and Hal Friedman
33. Push by Sapphire
34. How to be a Real Person (in just one day) by Sally Warner
35. Name me Nobody Lois-Ann Yamanaka
36. Montmorency by Eleanor Updale
37. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gebrielle Zevin
38. Notes from the Midnight Driver by Jordan Sonnenblick
39. The Trap by John Smelecer
40. To Search of Mockingbird by Loretta Ellsworth
41. The Secret of the Rose by Sarah L. Thomson
42. Token of Darkness by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
43. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
44. Suicide Notes by Michael Thomas Ford
45. Blood Roses by Francesca Lia Block
46. "The Crucible" by Arthur Miller
47. How the Hangman Lost His Heart by K. M. Grant
48. Best Foot Forward by Joan Bauer
49. The Poison Eaters and Other Stories by Holly Black
50. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
51. The life of a Star by Kelly Easton
52. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
53. The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger 
54. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
55. Though the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
56. Gingerbread by Rachel Cohn

Next book I'm going to read is The Death Chamber by Sarah Rayne

Grotesque Evil

I think I need to stop watching TV all together.

As I sat on my couch, aimlessly surfing though channels, I found something so horrendous, and atrocious, I feel like a monster just talking about it. And not a cute adorable one either. More like the ones where they are people, and for whatever terrible reason you feel like screaming and bitch slapping them into the next century.

This form of child cruelty came in the form of a show call "toddlers in tiaras". It is a beauty pageant for toddlers, where it seems like the point is to not only make one's child look like one of those creepy ceramic dolls, but also torture the poor children. As an added bonus, there children will undoubtedly have more issues than Lindsey Lohan by the age of fourteen.

It is one thing if a child is old enough to think for themselves, and decided to go into one of these (deplorable) pageants, but throwing a four year old into one? What the hell type of parent does that? All the "stage moms" tell the cameras how they kids just love to do these things. My four year old nephew loves to climb and jump off of highly unstable items, but we don't let him. Just because your kid "loves" something, doesn't make it right. Your sixteen year old kid can love weed and orgies in your bed, but you are most likely going to make it clear that it is a no-no, right?

Apparently someone also needs to explain that these tears, screams, and bratty behavior does not equal love. There kids are shouting, and screaming the in till they get on stage, and then IF they win they will be happy for about 10 minutes, before reverting back to normal.

Why would you subject your child to such "beauty" treatments, which could easily be come illegal if the government looked into them, because they are cruel and unusual. They spend hours upon hours on these little kids hair, pulling, frying, and coating in so much hair spray that everyone in the room will undoubtedly have lung problems at some point in there life. Or they stick these FAT wigs on them, which is equally unpleasant. Then, have putting enough makeup on them to make a prostitute jealous and then shove these fake teeth in there mouths, that I know are unpleasant to wear.

When you think about it, these kids are going to turn out fucked up as shit. Most of them started these hellish torments at three (or earlier), and will keep doing them in till there late teens. Imagine the effect that has on the mind, being told that you need pounds of makeup, your teeth aren't good enough, your body isn't right, and you’re not talented enough, on top of always being compared to other girls, from that young of an age.

On top of it most of the kids a bratty as all hell. 

And what type of parents subject there kids to that? They are toddlers. They should be in preschool, and playing outside, and making friends, not being coached in every category of there life.

Dear lord, our world is fucked up.

Chocolate is meant for happiness.... bastards.

So, I am appalled to say today I watched.... A chocolate competition.

It was awe inspiring how they could sculpt chocolate to such heights, and carve them into such magnificent figures. There cakes, and small treats looked like small bites of heaven. All together, it was an unbelievable thing to see people create such glorious works.

Yet some how everything seemed tainted. Who thinks of chocolate as a competition? When I think of chocolate, I think of the malt balls at Easter when I was little. I think of york patties my grandma used to buy all the time. I think of every birthday cake my father has ever made me. I think of simple things, things that I rember in my childhood. Things that could repesent innocents.

I know it is weird to get so worked up about something so stupid, but I was pissed the entire time while watching it. Why would anyone think it is a good idea to use something that is meant for happiness to create competition? What the hell people. Stop it.

Now, here is a better question... Why didn't I turn the channel?  

Sorry for wasting your time.

I could tell you about how I have to take my mom to Borders tomorrow so she can learn how to use her e-book dealy, and how we will spend the day together, including breakfast (which I find odd). But I won't.

I could tell you how I am going to go clean my room as soon as I am done with this. But I won't.

I could tell you about my mother's mysterious mood swings, after I spent my day shopping with my sister at the  mall.  But I won't.

I could tell you about my Christmas, and how we went to my sister's for dinner and her in-laws were oddly pleasant (I think they were border line-tipsy), or how I fell asleep on the couch for four hours ( but it is ok, because my dad did too) after an unnecessarily large breakfast  that always comes after opening presents in the morning, which I had to wake up at an ungodly hour to do so. But I won't.

I could tell you about my Christmas Eve, where I dominated in Monopoly (which my mother will not admit) after a dinner of BBQ-ed chicken and me, my mom, and my dad opening two presents each, at the end of a day where we all got along with one another for long periods of time (which I found refreshingly delightful). But I won't.


In fact, I don't think I will tell you a whole lot of anything in this blog.

How was your Christmas?

Thinking?

I think. I know.... that's unbelievable right?

Specifically, I think I'm going to learn to cook, at least edible food, since I am 17. I should know how to do that... Don't you think?

Any suggestions?

Life's Bitch Slap.... to my face

So, I am morbidly depressed. Well, that is an exaggeration, but I am sad none the less. Would you like to know why?

Most European countries seem to be more... fun. Everyone my age there, seems to have exceedingly impressive hobbies, and in general, be smarter. British people get to walk around with those sexy accents, and say all of those delightful words. Italians just seemed blessed. Switzerland has amazing chocolate. And Norway... well I don't really know much about Norwegians my age... so they are mysterious. Plus, there counties have higher standers, therefore they are always seem to be smarter.

Normally I don't give damn about this, but it has been rubbed in my face lately. And when you mix that with the fact that is live in a sad little excuse for a town, just about anywhere seems twice as fun. I know this is highly illogical, but that is how my mind happens to work.

Nothing else seems to be prudent at the moment.

So I found out last night that my Best Friend's boyfriend's friend (did you keep up with that?),  as TayLor put it, "wants my nuts". While this is mighty flattering, it is very odd. We have only met once, I only said hello to him, and I was beyond awkward.

Want to hear an embarrassing story about me? Of course you do, because you enjoy seeing my pain.... bastards.

When we were at TayLor's boyfriend's house, they were sucking face so instead of sitting there being awkward, curled up and fell asleep. Then, I was awoken by TayLor SCREAMING at me, and her, her boyfriend, and 3 other males, whom I did not know, just standing there. Staring at me.

This is my life. Isn't it a joy?

On the bright side I got a fabulous new shirt from my friend Claudia. Claudia, if you are reading this.... I... I love you. And I'm going to wear The Shirt tomorrow. :))

It is this pretty blue color with black zebra like stripes on it :))

My Current Thoughts

Dear mother in lord, I haven't posted on here in DAYS... well more then days, but hopefully you have already deciphered the true meaning of "in DAYS". If for some reason you didn't, and my expiation was necessary. get off my page. Now.

So, my mother is irrational as shit. Someone in the universe has deiced to piss her off, (whoever you are, you should know you are an asshole. Fuck your shit.) so unlike a coherent, or even sane person, she not only refuses to admit she is livid, but she makes everyone in the house highly uncomfortable since we all have a slight fear of her for one reason or another. Everyone is in fear of not being cheerful towards her (or too cheerful), or looking at her since it is likely she will interpreted it as a defiance (or not making enough eye contact), or even breathing the wrong air. As you can tell, you will not win. Someone will have her rage turned on them. Its just a waiting game now. Since I prefer not to be grounded for no apparent reason, I have hidden myself upstairs all day. Now I am free to use the computer, which is sadly located downstairs.

Would you like to know what I woke up to? My dad lecturing me, since he had to sit there and listen to my mom complain about the "attitude" I've had for the last two days. Before last night, when I got home (she was already asleep) and today, I hadn't been home since 7:30 am Friday. Does anyone see something wrong with this picture?

In other news.... On sunday (afternoon) me, and my best friend went to our friends house and spent the night. Here is the summary of it, in order: bumming around her house, me feeling awkward and out of the bubble, eating pizza, straightening my hair, panty shopping at 10 pm (or in Europe time 22 ... ish... i think?), looked at Christmas-lights, visited this person I didn't really know, hung out at her house some more, I felt like a cow...and the realized I was no longer afraid of Jenna... that's it.

So, before we went to her house, I had to go to church, because my best friend's mom makes her go, so there aren't  many options. Any whos, back to my point. So this guy behind be kept twitching like a mofo, with his feet on the back of my chair, which you could clearly see was not a pleasant position for him to sit, since his mother was behind me, and he was on the left of her. And he had short legs. Just to further annoy me he kept snapping his gum like he though he was a Vally Girl. Someone needs to tell him that it is FAR beyond rude to SNAP gum in god's house, god damn it! While this kid, who looked to be less than a year younger then me, was having me seriously contemplating braking the whole "thou shall not kill" thing, in a highly creative manner, his mother was glaring at me, like she knew what I was thinking. She obviously didn't understand though, because if she did understand, she would have slap the annoying out of her offspring. So, if my life wasn't sucking enough at this point, the preacher (or is it pastor?) was telling this lame story about loss and how to deal with it, and in it this kid's grandpa died. Just the way he was talking made me miss my grandpa, who is dead. Like REALLY REALLY miss him. The part I think was funny was I had this hella big urge to email him, and tell him how BAD this story was that the preacher man was telling. But I couldn't. So I start to tear up, and this old lady sitting next to me apparently thinks I just found jesus, which was awkward as shit. All the while I think my best friend was sleeping next to me. Oh god.... I am so going to hell....

Anyways, I am done talking about my "weekend".

Vanity is supposedly a sin....right? If so, can someone explain why there is an entire WALL mirror in the Ladies' bathroom? Shouldn't that be a no-no?

Fun fact: Your heart is the only part of your body that doesn't need the brain. That's how someone can be brain dead, but still, in the physical sense, still be alive.

Also, I'm thinking of getting a live journal. I'm not sure though. What do you think?